Just Because, Mrs. Claus
Grimwood/Idlet © 2004 Troutoons (BMI)

A quorum was collected when certain problems were detected.
Committees for reform, everyone must fit the norm.
And no child will be neglected. Each and every one inspected,
Even Santa is expected to conform.
Just because, Mrs. Claus, just because we really care,
You've got to start the diet or the man won't fit his suit.
It's because Mr. Claus will not stop eating that we beg you,
If he won't take care of himself, it's clearly up to you.

Sure he's a jolly fellow, brings joy to boys and girls around the world,
But he's a roly-poly role model and his body mass index must be absurd.
It was decided by decree to measure children in the schools.
It only stands to reason, Santa must obey these rules.

Just because, Mrs. Claus, just because we really care,
You've got to stop your baking or the deer can't pull his weight.
It's because Mr. Claus will not stop eating that we beg you,
If he won't take care of himself, you've got to set him straight.

Be judicious with the fast food. Please curtail the use of oil and butter.
If he simply must munch a bit try vegetables not bread and peanut butter.
Hide the potato chips, no in-between meal snacking,
When he was walking rooftops last year, ceilings started cracking.

I know its cold at the Pole but Santa needs to get some exercise
He now requires assistance of an elf when his boots become untied.
By following our guidelines and generally behaving
He'll shed a few lbs. and we'll try and talk him into shaving.

Just because, Mrs. Claus.
Just because, Mrs. Claus.
Just Because, Mrs. Claus.